Do I need a lawyer to get divorced?

This is a question we get a lot, and the general answer is that mediation is a much, much cheaper and easier way for most people to get divorced, most of the time. Here’s how we do it.

Strictly speaking, yes, if you are legally married, you will need a legal filing to get divorced, but! Fighting about divorce issues in court is easily the most expensive and unpleasant way to get divorced. A lawyer representing you doesn’t, and can’t, consider whether there’s a good way to resolve everyone’s issues; he or she is duty-bound to pursue your goals and to work for you, and that’s not the same as working to resolve the case. We find some firms make divorces go as long as possible, some firms do a great job of getting them settled quickly, but regardless, it takes way longer than a case that’s mediated.

A better way to go is to start with mediation. If you can get, say, 70% of the disputes settled before filing, the case will be much cheaper and easier. We often get couples who are divorcing to complete agreement, which is, by far, the cheapest way to get through court. We even have lawyers of our own, who can represent both parties, if everything is agreed to.

The big difference is that, in mediation, you get someone who is motivated to resolve the matter, not to drag it out. We’ve worked on many, many cases, and can suggest things that might work, and we’re trained in getting parties talking and finding organic and unique solutions for your particular case. Most judges these days are pretty good at explaining that the legal ‘solution’ is generally a bad one; the courts are so busy, you’re unlikely to get 20 minutes of actual consideration for your case, and more likely it will take years to handle even simple divorces.

Mediated agreements are also a lot more likely to hold. Imagine buying a car: you’d want something that could fit you, you’d do some research and ask some questions. What you wouldn’t be happy with would be going to a dealership and just getting assigned the car that the dealer figures might work after listening to you for 10 minutes. Court is often the most expensive way to get a not very good answer, but mediation gives you a trained professional who wants a real, unique solution, for you and your situation.

So, in conclusion, you do need to interact with the court to get divorced, but you don’t need a lawyer, and frankly you’re almost always better off talking to some mediators first. An initial consult is free, and can save you a ton of time, money, and struggle. If you know you need a divorce, or you suspect you’ll be there soon, think about contacting us today.